"Mysterious Happenings"
By the webmaster

Butz: "Huh? What are we doing here??"

Lenna: "Oh my! How did we get here??"

Faris: "What is this place??"

Cara: "Dammit I was in the middle of doing #2 before I appeared here."

Faris: (hides a vibrator) (coughs) "I wasn't doing anything before I appeared here..."

Galuf: "I thought I was supposed to be dead."

Cara: "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" (comes to him crying)

Galuf: "There there my sweet, Cara. Don't cry."

Lenna: "What a strange place this is. Everything is white."

Butz: "I hope Exdeath isn't behind this."

<mysterious voice> "BWAHAHAAAA I have brought you here!!"

Cara: (gasps)

Galuf: "Who are you?! Show yourself!"

Faris: (drops the vibrator by accident) "EEK!" (picks it up quickly pretending nothing happened) (coughs) "...uhh yeah! Show yourself you mysterious foe!"

Lenna: "Are you okay, Faris? You look like you just saw a nude photo of that obese woman on Jerry Springer that likes to eat full course meals while having sex at the same time."

Faris: (purposely changes the subject) "But what about this mysterious voice? Who could it be?!"

<mysterious voice> "Bwahaha you could never guess my name because I am not from your world. I am from another world entirely!"

Butz: "Are you...  Exdeath?!" 

<mysterious voice> "Hello? I said I'm from another world entirely. I am not Exdeath." 

Cara: (gasps) "Oh my god its Exdeath! He's come back to haunt us!"

Galuf: "YOU BASTARD!!!" 

<mysterious voice> "I JUST SAID I'M NOT Exdeath!! Are you people listening to me??"

Lenna: "Leave us alone, Exdeath! You horrible fiend!"

<mysterious voice> "..."

Faris: (drops the vibrator by accident again) "EEK!" (picks it up quickly pretending nothing happened) (coughs)

<mysterious voice> (notices) "...what the heck is that?! That thing you keep on dropping."

Faris: (turns red) "OH its nothing. Nothing at all. Really!" (coughs) "...its YOU who we need to be worrying about! You...  you...  evil person!"

Lenna: "Oh, Cara! I just noticed how cute you have your hair tied up today."

Cara: "Yeah! My moogle friend did it for me. I taught her how to do my hair. Isn't that bow cute??" 

Lenna: "It's adorable!"

Faris: (struggles to hide her vibrator in a better place within her pockets)

Galuf: "Oh that reminds me! Hey Butz, how's your pet chocobo and its wife doing?"

<mysterious voice> "..."

Butz: "Great! She had more babies the other day."

<mysterious voice> (speaks to itself) "...have these people forgotten about me ALREADY?!" (speaks out loud) "HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Butz: "Oh yeah, Exdeath. You fiend! Send us back to our homes!"

<mysterious voice> "Don't you want to know who I am?"

Cara: "Stop playing games with us, Exdeath."

<mysterious voice> "..."

Lenna: "Send us back home or else I'll...  I'll shove Faris' VIBRATOR up your ass!"

Butz/Galuf/Cara: (gasps)

Faris: (shocked) "ah..." (blushes) "Uhhh..." (forces a fake laugh) "Hehehee!"

<mysterious voice> "OH!! So that's what it was!"

Butz: "Faris...  I...  I never knew you were that type of woman!"

Galuf: "Hey Faris, can you lend that to me tomorrow night?"

Cara: (gasps)

Butz: "Oh! Oh! Let me borrow it the next night!"

Lenna: (gasps)

<mysterious voice> "Ah EXCELLENT! You're my kind of crowd. For I am..." (a shape of a body slowly becomes visible)

Linda Tripp: "...for I am LINDA TRIPP!!"


Lenna & Cara: (faints from overwhelment of disgust)


Galuf: (blushes) "Oh my..." (quickly fixes up his hair and straightens his clothing) (struts over to Linda Tripp) "Hey there foxy lady! Where have you been all my life??"

Linda Tripp: "Yuck! I'm not into guys. But as for those girls over there..." (licks her lips) "They look mighty fine today." (smiles exposing a mole near her cheek)

Faris: (runs toward Lenna & Cara and stands in front of them) "Stay away from them!"

Linda Tripp: "Ha! Your courage is nothing compared to my longest mole hair." 

Faris: "...huh? That doesn't make any sense."

Linda Tripp: "I know but I just got a suddden urge to compliment my longest mole hair. Anyway..." (slowly walks over to her) "You cannot stop me! I am going to kidnap Lenna & Cara and do naughty things to them while they're tied up!"

Galuf: "Noooo take me instead! I want you to do naughty things with ME!"

Butz: (thinks) "I got it! FARIS! Give me your vibrator! Toss it over to me quickly! Before Linda Tripp gets to you!"

Faris: "Well...  alright. Its a little slimey so try to grab it good." (tosses her vibrator to Butz)

Butz: (catches it) "HEY LINDA TRIPP!! I got what you want right here!"

Linda Tripp: (looks his direction) "Huh?"

Butz: (runs toward Linda Tripp and shoves Faris' vibrator up her ass and sets the vibrating to full speed) 

Linda Tripp: (enters a state of pure sexual ecstasy) "Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh YES OH YES uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh"

Butz: "GALUF!! Do you still remember some Time Mage spells?? Use the Exit spell while Linda Tripp is distracted in her state of pure sexual ecstasy!"

Galuf: "Nooo but I don't want to leave my newfound love!"

Faris: (gets pissed but tries to hold it back) "GALUF...  do it."

Galuf: (thinks of the last time he got Faris pissed) (says to himself) "Ouch she sure hit my Captain Winky really hard..." (yells out) "I'LL DO IT! Time Mage job class power transform!!"

Galuf: "I am...  TIME MAGE GALUF here to save the day!" (makes some fancy poses)

Faris: "GALUF!! Stop wasting time!"

Linda Tripp: "YES!!!! YES YES YES OH YES!!!!!! Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh"

Butz: "Hurry up, Galuf! Before the batteries start running low!"

Galuf: "Alright alright already I'm going." (raises his hands) "Good bye my love dove...  I cast EXIT!"

(everyone gets safely teleported back to their homes) (the batteries on Faris' vibrator runs out)

Linda Tripp: "NOOO!!! They escaped. What a clever plan they used too...  oh well." (puts a new set of batteries into the vibrator) "Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh YES!!!!!"


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